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I never thought I would see the day where I would be proud of myself for waking up before 10:00 am. I've been an early bird my entire life, (that and an insomniac), and they said it would catch up to me when I was about seventeen or eighteen. Naturally, I didn't believe it. As you might have been able to tell, I have been happily eating my words and sleeping fifteen hours a day all summer. However, at the beginning of August, I always have a nasty shock. My boyfriend leaves in 11 days. I have a bitch of a geo/econ project that I can finish if I set my mind to it. Then I have AP Comp. I have senior pictures on Wednesday. Registration soon. I need to find out when the testing out day is. CB...let's put that on the to-do list, eh?

So like I said, Geo/econ has been good.

Finished Seg. II. Found out something got fucked up with my permit, so I have to go get it REINSTATED. Bloody hell. There goes driving before school starts. The point is, I am taking babysteps towards independence. Just not quite yet. MEAP scores came yesterday. Minus $3,000.oo off the 'ol college bill. Yay me.

Saw my new house. Don't wanna talk about it. Remember, I like change, change is good.

Mozzerella sticks for dinner last night. Happy camper.

David and I went to a bonfire at Jo's. Got to see Erica and Kathleen. I've known Kathleen since she was 5 and it was nice to talk to her. They promised to be my friends next year. It'll work out fine because Chelsea and I will be camped out by the coffee pot in the back of Humanities anyway.

Then we went in my bed and cuddled. Bloody hell. Why does he have to move to GR? I mean Allendale. Whatever. Far enough away to make cuddling like that damn near impossible.

No, it's an adventure! I like change. Change is good!

In fact, I like change so much, I think I'll change my favorite color. Orange this week? Maybe. No. Still Green.

So anyway, I woke up at 8:30. Haven't even made a pot of coffee. I've been playing Spider Solitare for the past half an hour. I know, I know. I suck.

Today:
-Pot of coffee
-Finish parts 5, 6, 7, and 8 for the Geo/Econ project. (Mind you, I skipped half of part 2 and all of parts 3 and 4...too hard)
-Shower
-Coffee Beanery/dinner with Bryan
-Seeing Once Upon a Mattress with Bryan, Lizzy, Mommy and Erica.
-Kidnapping David and keeping him at my house from now on.

Later days!

Read and answered all the questions for the Essay section of Part II for the AP Comp. work.

Have a pretty good start on this Poland project. Will have it finished by midnight tomorrow, no matter what.

Start Seg. II today. Will have my liscense before school starts if it kills me. And it just might. The teacher promised to do whatever it would take to get me my liscense. I like him.

Spent a wonderful morning with my beau. Breakfast in bed. Then we took a long nap. Reason 38 why he shouldn't leave for school. Boobah.

Work tonight and tomorrow. That's all for this week. As soon as I get my liscense I can quit and get a better job, because I need to pay for college, somehow.

Plus, now I'm going to have OCYB rehearsals all the time. Maybe I should quit dance and work full time. That might be a good idea.

So I'm sort of recollecting myself. If I can pull of this geo/econ thing, somebody better be taking me out for ice cream. That's ALL I'm going to say on that subject.

Oh, and if you have any information on Poland, including maps, from 1880 forward, send them my way.

Senior pictures a week from tomorrow. Should be..interesting. I looked on the website, and hated all the pictures. They were all of ugly people, which is probably why. Or maybe they were of pretty people and her photography makes them ugly. I don't know. I just don't want to look like shit in all my proofs.

I just finished watching National Treasure.

And now I know what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Happy that crisis is over.

So, I just had the most amazing weekend at the cottage. it was the first time I had been up in over a year, so it was the first time I saw the addition. And the upstairs addition. And the two new tables. And the placemats. And the coasters. And the mirror and shelf and lights in the back bedroom. And the real picnic table in the lawn. And the sign by the back(front?) door. And they moved the log at the end of the driveway. And a lot of other miniscule things that I had to get used to the first night. Overall, though, I like it. It was time. Forgot to leave a note behind the mirror.
Like I was saying, the weekend was perfect. It rained the whole time we drove up, and by the time we got there it was perfect. David and I took a walk on the beach and watched the sunset. Then I tried to make Pastaroni for us, effed it up, and so he had to do it. We played Spit until it got lame, and then we just hung around for the rest of the night.  Woke up Friday, saw Freddy, got bacon. Breakfast, laying around, went to town. David bought me an adorable ring at Sea Jewels. Came back, layed around some more. Mommy and Patrick got there. Graingers came over for dinner. Played some Euchure with the worst partner I have ever had. (My father). Carly, Curt, and Aunt Christine get there. Play more Euchure. Lay around with David, then play major Uno with Patrick and Charlie.
I had a lot of fun waking David up Saturday morning. We all had breakfast and then went to Grand Bend. When we came back we took a nap together, and then had dinner and went down to the beach. I was brushing off my pants and I LOST MY RING. (It's okay, I bought a new one). We watched the sunset and had a bonfire. Then we just relaxed some more, and stayed up until about 2:30.
Sunday we woke up and didn't do much of anything. Played some Trivial Pursuit, which I rocked at, and then I went in the water. I found Turtle Rocks, and got back out. It was disgusting. I hate that lake. We packed up and drove home. Sat in line/on the fucking bridge for two hours. Ate Wendy's, took David home, came home, relaxed.

And now, that's all over. I suppose it was good I had a relaxing weekend, but I'm home now, and I'm flipping out.

The registration packet came today for school. I wanted to vomit. I have senior pictures on the 16th, and I still need to buy clothes for those and get my haircut. Testing out is...I don't even fucking know when it is. But I do know I still have a lot of work to do. I also have everything to do for AP Comp. On top of that, I have to clean and paint my room before school starts. And even though I have to do all of this, all I do is sit here, sick to my stomach, because of David leaving for school. Couples do it all the time, and it works for some and doesn't work for others. I think that as long as we're both completely honest with each other, and we both make an effort to talk every day and make visits to each other, we'll be totally fine. But I'm so insecure as it is, and I've got all these trust issues with him. I just spent an AMAZING weekend with him at the cottage, and now I'm sick to my stomach, crying, and flipping out, all over the realization that we have two weeks until he leaves. And then...I don't know when I'll see him again. I don't know when I'm going up there, or he's coming down here. Bryan and Lauren are leaving too. I'm so wrapped up in all of that, and so sick of school, that I'm actually dreading my senior year. I have all of this testing out work to do, and I don't know how I'm going to get it done, when I can't get all of this off my mind. I'm just so worried.

I fucking hate this. I really don't understand why I'm having such a hard time dealing with this.

 Woke up at six this morning. Bad bug bite on my arm was itching and I couldn't get back to bed. Plus, it was my first night with my new sheets/quilt (ha...quilt). Had coffee and a bagel and watched Princess Diaries 2 on Encore.

I'm putting non-showtunes on my iPod for the weekend. Plus Wicked, if it'll fit. I'm going to sell my nano and use the money from that plus some other money (that I'll pull out of my ass) to buy a big one. At least before college, eh?

Anyway, like I was saying, I'm importing music. I've spent the past half an hour going through my CD's looking for iPod worthy music. I ended up finding "Emily's Favorites", discs 1-3, that James made me the summer before Sophomore year. I had one of those buddy profile things, and I put a giant list of every song I like in it, and he stayed up until dawn making the CD's. Basically, it was one of the best presents I EVER got, and I'm listening to them now and realizing that I still LOVE most of these songs.

I'll be importing those 3 CD's, along with

Kenny Chesney: The Road and the Radio, Greatest Hits, Be As You Are, No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem, and When the Sun Goes Down.

L5Y is also on here. But don't tell anybody.

Cottage today.
It's actually happening. I feel like I'm about seven years old again. Bloody fantastic.

Oh bliss. Somebody slap me.

Don't remember last time I updated. Been a decent past few days.

On Friday I just sort of...didn't do anything. If I did, I don't remember. Oh. Ashley and I got Coldstone, and I sat in front of the computer for a solid eight hours reading After The End, which, by the way, I finished.

Saturday was the wedding. It was...amazing. Of course, I was a blubbering idiot through the entire ceremony, and it was hot as balls, but I was the only one that didn't mind. The entire thing was beautiful. Of course, the reception was an absolute blast. It couldn't be anything else, with a room full of Jensens. We've decided to make it a Jensen-girl-cousin tradition to do Strawberry Wine at every one of our weddings. We cleared the dance floor and stood and a big circle to interpretive dance, and ended up getting weird looks and applause. It was fantastic. Really, I just had a blast dancing with everybody and being goofy. I hate high school dances because they're so...lame. Katie let me dance with Tommy a few times and that was exceptional. He probably thinks I'm a terrible dancer, but I loved it anyway. Bottom line, weddings are fun. More cousins should get married soon. Oh wait, they are!! Erin and Ryan asked me to be in the wedding, and I almost started crying. I love them. Cousin Matt spent the night. My dress was amazing. Everybody kept telling me I looked gorgeous - even people I didn't know. Overall, it was a fantastic night.

Sunday was the after-wedding-party at Aunt Margie's. Katie and Tommy told me I was hot. Good self esteem.We played with an adorable little girl, and Dan ended up staying an extra day, so I got to talk with him more. Older boy cousins are like brothers I don't have.

On Monday I....hung out with Lauren. We cut Gena's hair and went swimming. Then Bryan and I got coffee and took an in-depth personality exam at Border's. Then we played around at his house where I tore apart his room. We ate Taco Bell in the car and then I came home.

Today I woke up, made coffee, and then I did laundry and cleaned and such. Nick came over, and we layed in the pool for 2 hours and argued about Harry Potter and whether or not he's going to die. ...he isn't. He brought me candy to make me feel better. Then we got milkshakes and watched D2: Mighty Ducks. David, Dan, Mel and I went bowling. I rock pretty hard. David got a new tattoo today. Sexy.

COTTAGE THURSDAY.

THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY. (lets see if you can get through it. if not, you're too scared about your past)

-Longest relationship:
A year and 3 months.

-Shortest relationship:
2 weeks.

-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?:
One.

-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?:
I'm seventeen. I don't think about marrige.

-Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?:
Yes.

-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?:
Yes.

-Have you ever cried over a boyfriend or girlfriend?:
Yes.

-Are you happier single or in a relationship?:
In a healthy relationship.

-Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend?:
Never.

-Have you ever been cheated on?:
I hope not.

-What is the best part of being in a relationship?:
Having somebody to confide in and depend on, and at the same time, being able to play and have fun.

-What is the worst part of being in a relationship?:
The insecurity that comes with knowing that you are not in complete control of something important in your life.

-Have you ever had your heart broken?:
Yes.

-Have you ever broken someones heart?:
Yes.

-talk to any of your exes?:
I don't have exes, exactly. But if you want to call them exes, then yes, we talk.

-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?:
No.

-Do you think any of your exes feel the same way?:
No.

-What is your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend?
The one I have right now. If he wasn't ideal, it wouldn't be worth it.

-Have you been in an abusive relationship?:
Emotionally, for a while.

-Name your most memorable ex if you have had 1:
None have made a big enough impact on my life.

-Have you dated someone older then you?:
Always.

-Younger?:
I had a fling with someone younger.

-Do you regret anything that you have done with a boyfriend or girlfriend?:
No.

-When is the last time that you were in a relationship?:
Now.

-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
No, it depends on what the person did.

-Believe in love at first sight?:
No.

-Ever dated two people at once?:
Yes. Neither were exclusive, so don't yell at me.

-Ever been given a promise ring?:
I have my claddagh.

-Ever been given an Engagement ring?:
Not yet.

-Do you want to get married?:
Absolutely.

-Do you have something to say to any of your exes?:
No.

-Ever stolen someones boyfriend or girlfriend?:
No.

-Ever liked someone elses boyfriend or girlfriend?:
Yes.

-Do you believe in true love?:
Yes.

-Does getting your heartbroken really feel as bad as it sounds?:
No, it feels worse.

Stayed up until sunrise yesterday, then slept until 2. Pathetic. Got ready, went to Hilton.

All the Jensen girl cousins minus Katie, plus the bridesmaids. Dinner at Gush O'Connor's. Fish and chips. Excellent. Sitting around, we realized that now we're all older, it seems like there are a lot less of us. I used to feel like there were a ton of us, and we were all there except Katie. And Jennifer and Stephanie, who, by the way, will be 9 and 11 next summer. I could've sworn they were like, 4 and 6. Maybe Jennifer was 7. I would believe 7. But not 11. Laura, Kirsten, Hannah, Kelly, Roberta, Amanda, Carly, Emily. And Katie. That's all. That's all there's ever been. I could've sworn there were more. That's obscene. Then, we went back to the hotel and put our PJ's on. Amanda, Laura, Carly and I played Euchure and ate Strawberry Daquri Jelly Bellies. Then we had amazing ice cream sundaes and played Catch Phrase. I was the youngest one there, and with the exception of Carly and Amanda, everybody was at least 5 years older than me. The Catch Phrase thing gets passed around the circle, and mind you, this is my first time playing it. Kirsten hits the arrow and passes it to me, and the word "G-Spot" pops up. Saying it now, it really doesn't sound that funny. Maybe it was just how hard Kirsten was laughing, or the fact that it was my first Catch Phrase and I was the youngest. Anyway, that got a few laughs. Then, we played the Newlywed Game and tried to match Jordan's answers. I got 4.5 out of 20. It was the third highest score. We watched A Walk to Remember, and Amanda and I were hysterically laughing through the whole thing. Whenever I'm with her, it's like we're twelve all over again. We just pick up where we left off and start laughing. Then, everybody went to bed, and they put Amanda and I in the other room on the fold out couch, where we drew Herberts and continued to laugh into the late hours of the night. I missed her.

Anyway, I love having cousins. The wedding should be a lot of fun. We'll all be boyfriended, but the only one it'll have a serious affect on is Carly, because her and Curt are one of those couples that has no concept of private vs. public. Oh well. I'm excited Katie is bringing Tommy, because he dances. And I want to watch him dance, and I want to watch all the aunts giggle when he  dances with them. Should be a very fun day.

Now, I think a pot of coffee and some fan fics are in order.

Fun pictures from le party des bachelorettes shall be el soono. Ew. I don't know why I did that.

Lalalalala.

Happiness.

Went into hyperproductive homework mode yesterday and tried to do way more than I should've. Figured out that the schoolboard is trying to make it HELL for those testing out of Geo/Econ. Reasonably pissed. Went to CB's, did more studying, and then Lauren came over. We played with girly magazines, made Supermac, and then went to Coldstone. I went out of my Mojo box and got Peanut Butter Cup Perfection. Not something I'll do again. I scared a child. We had fun. I don't think Lauren likes being seen with us.

Speaking of...Chelsea and I have decided to make our senior year beyond fantastic. But that's all I'm saying. Really I should't have said anything. It doesn't matter, nobody who reads this will be in school with us next year anyway.

Then, we came back to my house, put shaving cream on my brother so he would leave the basement, and then we went berzerk for 3 or 4 hours. We talked politics, phoned Zachy...multiple times. He misses us like crazy. It's rather cute. We took a picture of ourselves in side ponytails and sent it to J-Naught with the letters "SUB-G". He knows where it's at. We chit chatted and were girly and awesome. We totally watched It Takes Two. And I absolutely love her. Beyond words, yo.

Got shoes that match my dress perfectly. Pretty happy.

Read my newest copy of Real Simple. That magazine makes me feel like I'm taking a mental shower of my life. If that makes any sense. I just become very distilled and focused. It's sort of like meditation.

Finally finishing After The End. That only has signifigance to Ashley. But it's well on it's way. About to start Chapter 27. (Of 43). Well, I said I was going to finish it. I didn't say soon.

Went to Lauren's tonight for Part II of the Ultimate Summer Euchure Tournament. The points are as follows:
Lauren and Lisa: 3
Emily and Bill: 2
We will have beaten them by the end of the summer. We have to win before Lauren goes to school.

Other than that, right now I am just terrified. I'm scared and upset to a point where I can barely function, in a time where it is very pivotal for me to be doing lots of things.

Chels - Xaiver U called me again today, I pick up the phone and go "DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN", and then hung up. If they call tomorrow, I'm going to tell them that I'll be pressing charges.

I'm scatter-brained, and probably not going to sleep tonight. I have plenty to do. So, in other words, I'm relapsing back into my manic psycho phase.

Tight.